Editing

I am editing today. This makes for a long day and I am trying to get through it without pulling my hair out.  It’s a children’s picture book, short and simple. I think the shorter the work,the harder it is to make good, concise edits. There isn’t as much to work with. When you take out 5 sentences, you are losing an entire page. When you add to it, you have to see if it is uniform with the rest of the book. I am rambling, but sometimes you just have to.

The good news is that one of my dearest girlfriends is friends with an illustrator who works for Hallmark. She does amazing work and she is going to help me make that connection. I know that publishers will provide the illustrator, however I can envision my characters and I feel that her illustration style matches my character vision.  All in all a good thing. Now, I just have to talk to her, see if she’s interested and go from there. Oh, and finish the manuscript. If she is interested, it is definitely a good thing. If not, I send it in anyway. My goal is:

Unfinished-Send out in two weeks. Keep on hand for the spring conference and keep working on my other projects as well.

I just looked back over this posting, but I am not editing it for content today. I will just let it run and ramble, like my brain is right now. 

L.

Hyperventilating in Barnes and Noble-Nearly

I have a hard time getting into “right-brain mode” lately. I have always been able to go between both modes, however more often than not, my analytical side seems to take over.  I actually prefer to holistic, intuitive mode of using my right-brain. When I turn on my left-brain, I over-analyze, over-rationalize, and just pay attention to parts of things–not the whole picture.

So, how does that relate to my nearly hyperventilating in Barnes and Noble? Well, I was in there to look at reference books and then meandered over to the children’s section with my dear son. He grabbed a “Magic Tree House” book that he had been wanting and I headed over to the picture books. I have a few that I thought I had finished–that is, until I picked up and browsed through a couple of Mercer Mayer and Robert Munsch books. It was at that time that panic set in. Now, I haven’t even queried anyone. Nobody, nunca, Nada, zip. So, I have had no feedback whatsoever.  However, all of my doubts came bubbling up in an overwhelming wave of nausea when I was supposed to casually reading. I felt my teeth start to go numb, bile rose in my throat, and my legs wouldn’t move. I seriously thought that I was going to upchuck all over the kiddie reading area.  I pictured the manager coming to escort me out of the store before handing me a bill for $5,000 dollars for the books I had ruined and carpet that would need replacing.

I managed to move from the children’s section to the business section that my husband was hanging out in and gasped that I needed a cup of coffee, now. One very large caramel macchaito later, I was able to talk to him and told him what happened. He swears that what I am feeling is most likely normal and that I shouldn’t worry about it. He’s also my biggest fan, so he is probably just a little biased. Although, sometimes I wonder. He is straight as a die and shoots straight from the hip and doesn’t mince words. It’s refreshing. However, I still question his unfeigned criticism. Would he still show the same candor if he weren’t my husband? I hope so, but it is my own doubts that make me question not only him, but myself.

Time management

Sometimes I wonder if there are enough hours in the day.  I am sitting in front of my screen, knowing that I need to be working, but have actually been killing time on Facebook. They have an addicting little game called Scramble that I play with my friend Melanie. It’s a fight to the finish to see who can find the most words in three minutes.

What I need to be doing is character development today. I also need to be working on queries.  The thing is, I have no desire to do it today. I do, but I also have more housework that I care to think about and I need to meal plan so that I can go to the grocery store this evening. Needless to say, I am a little preoccupied.

I think that I am going to take some time today to do some free writing. Just sit down with a notebook, pen, and a cup of green tea. Go with the flow and see what ideas pour out of me. Sometimes, that is where I get my best ideas. I also get the most amazing stories when I meditate. It is like the universe has opened up and sent an idea, just when I need it.

I am also pitching my second ever article this weekend. The first article I ever wrote was picked up by a regional magazine and then they shut down and reopened. Such is life. I need to find out if it was ever published and if not, I need to pitch it again. Or do they still have rights to it? Another thing on my growing to-do list. Send them an inquiry.

It’s amazing at how writing about writing starts my juices flowing. I need to get busy, so I shall bid adieu.

Epiphany

I had an epiphany while on vacation. I want to be a writer. Now I have written different types of things for years: children’s books, blogs, comic perspectives and environmental/social issues.  What I never said aloud was that I wanted to be a writer. However, I met this 86 years young Jewish woman who had eyes that saw right through to your soul. Shirley asked ”even though you are in college working on a psychology degree, what do you want to do?”   My response was the most honest I have ever been with myself. It was fluid, it was natural. I told her “I want to be a writer”. Never had I uttered those words aloud. Why? I don’t know why. I can surmise that it is a lack of self-esteem and confidence.

It was later that night that the implications of what I said fully hit me. What came out of me  was a maelstrom of emotions. Uncontrollable tears, gut-wrenching sobs and a relief of the soul that I have never felt in my 35 years. It was blessed, pure and uncomfortable. It meant that I have to change my course in life. For a long time, I thought that I would counsel. I thought wrong. It turns out, I needed counseling that you can only do within yourself. It’s finding personal congruence and clarity.

The one thing that was said to me on vacation that I have to repeat to myself everyday is: “If your emotions were that strong, that is what you are meant to do.” Cindy, a local massage therapist I was sent to after messing up my neck, is such a spiritual woman it seems like every word that comes out of her mouth is completely in line with the Cosmos. She was questioning me so we could try and figure out the source of my muscular issues. The golf ball size knots in my neck explained a lot.

Where do I stand at now? I will be continuing work on my website, which is a blog about environmental and social issues related to same. However, I also need to work on other projects that I have left sitting for a long time. Projects that I know are good, but that I have stepped away from. Why did I step away? I think it’s a fear of completion. I fear completing them, because what if I never have another good idea? It’s all about fear and having to reconcile those fears.

My name is Lisa. I am a writer and now know the direction I am supposed to take in this life. I look forward to hearing from you.

Hello world!

This is technically my first post, even though it was provided by WordPress. It’s short and simple. Enjoy!