I have a hard time getting into “right-brain mode” lately. I have always been able to go between both modes, however more often than not, my analytical side seems to take over. I actually prefer to holistic, intuitive mode of using my right-brain. When I turn on my left-brain, I over-analyze, over-rationalize, and just pay attention to parts of things–not the whole picture.
So, how does that relate to my nearly hyperventilating in Barnes and Noble? Well, I was in there to look at reference books and then meandered over to the children’s section with my dear son. He grabbed a “Magic Tree House” book that he had been wanting and I headed over to the picture books. I have a few that I thought I had finished–that is, until I picked up and browsed through a couple of Mercer Mayer and Robert Munsch books. It was at that time that panic set in. Now, I haven’t even queried anyone. Nobody, nunca, Nada, zip. So, I have had no feedback whatsoever. However, all of my doubts came bubbling up in an overwhelming wave of nausea when I was supposed to casually reading. I felt my teeth start to go numb, bile rose in my throat, and my legs wouldn’t move. I seriously thought that I was going to upchuck all over the kiddie reading area. I pictured the manager coming to escort me out of the store before handing me a bill for $5,000 dollars for the books I had ruined and carpet that would need replacing.
I managed to move from the children’s section to the business section that my husband was hanging out in and gasped that I needed a cup of coffee, now. One very large caramel macchaito later, I was able to talk to him and told him what happened. He swears that what I am feeling is most likely normal and that I shouldn’t worry about it. He’s also my biggest fan, so he is probably just a little biased. Although, sometimes I wonder. He is straight as a die and shoots straight from the hip and doesn’t mince words. It’s refreshing. However, I still question his unfeigned criticism. Would he still show the same candor if he weren’t my husband? I hope so, but it is my own doubts that make me question not only him, but myself.