Loose ends are the worst. I have two books that are for all intents and purposes, complete. However, it’s the loose ends on these books that I need to finish. There are a few places where I feel that the story doesn’t “connect” the subsequent story together. I don’t want to force what I am writing, because it is not my best, but I am getting frustrated at not having these two “tied up”.
What’s a gal to do? First, I am turning to my biggest supporter, my husband. He is a good critic and has a good eye for telling me where things might not be flowing as well. It’s amazing at what having a second set of eyes will do for you.
Next, I need to just free write. Maybe if it start out free writing, the ideas will flow. My muse in one of the stories sings to me and she hasn’t done that in a while. Maybe, just maybe, she will start again. I love picturing this character doing her thing. Dancing, singing and enjoying life. Let’s see how it goes.
It could be that I am also nervous about NaNoWriMo…it’s looming large and beast-like on the horizon. I start thinking, “which book do I write”; “have I lost my mind”; and “your ‘effing crazy”. Among other things that I choose not to put in this forum for sake of maintaining decorum.
Yet, my mind wanders…is it writers block? Could I have unwittingly blocked myself out of my own fear of completion? I do fear completion. It is one of my worst attributes. I fear completing what I write, because I am afraid I will never have another good, no great, idea. If I complete my work and send it off, it means I have to create something else–which is refreshing when new. It’s like that first kiss–all butterflies and excitement.
I will get through this. First things first, I need to set the bar higher. Expect more of myself so that others will respect what I do. In return, I feel that it will make me a better writer. I hope so. I realize writing this that I need to believe more in myself. That it’s my lack of belief in myself that hinders me and causes me to create these loose ends. Self-introspection. Now, I just have to keep telling myself over and over until it sinks in.